Conversation wtih myself exercise

I have been having conversations with myself. i learned to do that from David Morrell's book "Lessons from a lifetime of writing"

so what do you wanna do today samuel?
i'm really feeling down today
How come?
i was talking to my lotto ticket.
you talk to your lotto ticket? Why?
i read luke 17:6 in the bible. it says you can talk to a tree and it will obey you. i thought i could apply it to my life. i thought i could talk to a lotto ticket and it would obey me
so what happen
the lotto ticket didn't obey me. i didn't win
maybe you got to keep talking to your lotto tickets for months or years before it happens
maybe you are right. i don't know. but i am just feeling really down.
why are you feeling down?
i just want to have the millions already. i have been speaking wealth over myself for almost two years and i still don't see any results of my words
maybe you'll never get results from your words. maybe the bible is a bunch of lies.
maybe you're right. but i will keep on believing the words of the bible
so you gonna keep on talking to lotto tickets once you buy them
yes i will keep on talking to my lotto ticket.
and if it never obeys you? if you never win the lotto? what will you do
i don't know. i'm putting all my faith in the word of God with no guarantee of any result. but i don't know what else to do. i failed at school. i failed at working a regular job. i failed at trading forex and futures. all i have left to believe in is the bible.
but what if the bible is a bunch of lies.
then my future is pretty fucked